Top 10 Gifts of Relocation

Sarah has moved eight times in her adult life. When we sat down to talk she had just completed what she thinks will be her final move – this time as an empty nester.

Though she has owned homes all over the country, Sarah confirmed that any move is somewhat traumatic – even if you’re just moving across town. However, what I call PTMS (post-traumatic move syndrome) is not a part of her story. In fact, she has 10 positive things to report about her nomadic lifestyle.

1)   Reinvention – Sarah calls herself inherently shy, but cultivated a much stronger personality as a result of her moves.

2)   Forward motion – In the midst of a move, there’s no time for lamenting.

3)   Strength of family unit – “We had to have each other’s back,” Sarah shared. They didn’t have a grandma or aunt down the street to could call on. As a result, this deepened the bond of their family unit.

4)   Increased resourcefulness – She learned how to create communities instantly and make connections with key members of the school systems.

5)   More openness to other cultures – Her kids got to see a bigger world than they ever would have experienced had they remained in their small town.

6)   College assimilation – For both her kids, going away to college was a breeze. They had already developed skills that other kids often don’t. They didn’t experience the stress and discomfort that so many freshman do.

7)  Good self-care – Since she had no close relatives, she couldn’t afford to not take care of herself. She is proud of her ability to practice this skill and recognize its value.

8)   Wide job experience – She loved being employed by many different companies, as she enjoys the challenge of learning new things. Her resume is full and varied.

9)   Self-reliance – Without what she calls “ the security blanket of friends,” she needed to get comfortable going to movies and museums by herself. This has been a great experience in independence for her.

10)  Deeper faith - Though she always had a strong connection to her faith, she drew upon it even more and said she never felt alone, even if she didn't know her neighbors.  Her prayer practice increased.

In a future post, I’ll write more about the unique challenges and benefits about moving as an empty nester.

A Recommended Relocation Resource

When a family goes through a relocation, there are many services to help. Moving companies. Real estate agents. Mortgage brokers. Each entity is skilled in their area of expertise and all are needed.

I recently had the opportunity to visit the team at NRI Relocation – a company that is truly dedicated to making the relocation experience for their clients very smooth and easy. The purpose of our time together was for me to learn more about what they do and for them to more fully understand the emotional needs of a family as they relocate.

I could see that the entire NRI team had the same desire – to help their clients go through this challenging time by feeling supported and empowered. Each person on staff greeted me warmly and enthusiastically and were very interested in learning all they could about what I offer so that they could serve their clients more fully.

The camaraderie between all was what really struck me. They clearly supported one another in achieving their common goal. I could tell right away that they handled their clients with that same focused warmth and attention. Though they are a full service corporate relocation management company serving U.S. domestic and globally transferred employees, one of their main philosophies is that relocation is all about people. Therefore their clients are treated with special attention – no details are missed. Yes, they want to maximize the ROI of their clients’ relocation program investment – but most of all, they care.

Here is one my favorite quotes they share that represents their philosophy:

“A successful relocation is one in which the employee remains focused and stress-free, and can pick up their new job responsibilities quickly and efficiently. Incorporating meaningful relocation benefits with responsive, personalized assistance and expert resources ensure transferring employees will feel good about their decisions, happy about their move, and valued as an employee.”

After meeting this team, I can honestly say that they walk their talk and would be an asset to anyone seeking relocation assistance.

Click below to watch a video interview with me and Susan Bender, CEO of NRI Relocation, as she seeks to learn more about the relocation experience of the executive spouse. Our conversation speaks volumes about this company’s dedication to serve not just the relocating employee but the spouse as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwMUpwAmA94

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Relocation

Relocating executives commonly want to support and help their spouse during a move. They realize they’ve created this situation, and they want to give her what she needs to thrive and prosper in their new location.

To help you help her, let’s look at this situation through the lens of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Maslow’s theory is that basic needs must be met before one can address needs at a higher level. During a relocation, one’s most basic needs like shelter are feeling threatened.

All too often, once the closing papers are signed, the expectation is that the first level of the pyramid is satisfied. Though the threat is not real (there IS a new home to move into, she is warm enough, and she has food and water), there can be an irrational fear of feeling like nowhere is home. Of feeling displaced.

If not addressed, this fear can impact her ability to move forward and ever feel at home and safe in the new location. Remember that she may not always be aware that these needs are feeling threatened – it’s up to you to be communicative and proactively check in with questions about how she is feeling – not just inquires about tactile moving issues. If you notice that she seems especially depressed, scattered, angry or withdrawn, take time to communicate.

To help alleviate her fears, it’s important to honor and recognize the feeling of not being safe and encourage her to talk through it. Suggest ideas to make the temporary housing or new home feel like “home.”

Once basic needs are met, and only then, your spouse and family can comfortably begin to experience psychological health and achieve assimilation in the new neighborhood. Ultimately, the goal is to be in the new zip code and begin to experience true fulfillment – the pinnacle of Maslow’s model.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. At Holistic Relo I use a similar 5-step process to help families understand the psychological ramifications of relocation.