Top 5 Reasons Yoga Helps During Relocation

Did you know?

• More than 20 million people practice yoga in the U.S. (according to Yoga Journal)

• 35.9 million U.S. residents – that 11.7 percent of all Americans – relocated between 2012 and 2013 (according to U.S. Census Bureau reports)

I wonder how many of those 35.9 million overlap with the 20 million? Those who do practice yoga during a relocation – or any big life transition – can count on these five major benefits:

1) Increased immune health. It’s no surprise that during a major move, it’s easy to end up with some kind of illness. Many studies have shown that those practicing yoga were healthier than a control group. Yoga poses stimulate the circulatory, digestive, nervous and endocrine systems, and all of these keep the immune system healthy.

2) Sounder sleep. When you have a million things on your do-list, from packing to finding new schools for the kids, it’s challenging to shut your mind off and fall asleep. Yoga poses, especially spinal twists, calm the nervous system, while meditation and breath work help mitigate stress. All of these help you to experience a good night’s sleep.

3) Better balance. Moving means a lot of lifting, often juggling (literally and figuratively) many things at one time. Practicing balancing poses on the mat help you to negotiate that stray box you didn’t see in your path and land on your feet, not your bottom.

4) Mindful eating. Pizza and other fast food choices often top the list during the hectic times of relocation. Regular yoga enhances the mind-body connection so that you become more aware of which foods nourish you versus harm you. Eating well throughout your move will help you arrive in your new location feeling energized not depleted.

5) Calm communication. Let’s face it, when you are managing many people at once in the old and new locations, things can get hectic and effective communication often goes out the window. Performing yoga quiets the mind, and this leads to clearer communication.

So many things can be out of your control during times of relocation. One thing you can control is the home that you carries you around 24/7 – your body, nervous system and mind.

Even if you don’t have a serious yoga practice or have never tried yoga before, you can reach out to a local studio or hire an instructor to teach you some simple poses to help you through.

You deserve to feel at home all the time, no matter what phase of the move you are in. Stopping to breathe mindfully and drop into a few gentle yoga poses is as important as packing that next box.

Temporary Housing Can Feel Like Home

If you need to stay in temporary housing while you are in between homes for your corporate relocation, you may feel like you don’t have much control over your situation. Luckily, there are many ways you can make a temporary stay feel like home right from the start.

I’m all about helping families feel as comfy as possible all throughout the move, and not put off their comfort until the last box is unpacked in the new home. Instead, I encourage people in relocation with the motto, “Make every moment as good as it can be!”

Here are some of the items my clients and I have used to cozy up our living spaces while waiting for a home to close. It would be worth your while to ship a few boxes of these treasured items ahead of time. That way, as soon as you arrive you can immediately surround yourself with your own unique items from home.

Decorations

• Framed photos of your family members, friends and pets; artwork from the kids; greeting cards from your spouse, friends, etc.


• Small throw rugs


• Plants from the local grocery store, which will detoxify the air and beautify the space; living things are always nourishing


• Fresh cut flowers


• A bright, colorful fruit bowl

Creature comforts

• Everyone’s favorite sheets and other bed coverings like pillowcases, quilts and mattress pads


• Your own towels


• Essential kitchen tools (for me, this is the power blender for my green smoothies in the morning)


• Journal and/or motivational or entertaining books for your nightstand

Scents

Essential oils or smells from a favorite candle can instantly change your mood. As well, fill your home with familiar cooking smells – if you had a Sunday night crockpot tradition, continue that. Though it’s tempting to eat out, especially if you have an expense account, remember the value of taking good care of your body during this stressful time.

I recently met with Carly McClure of BridgeStreet, and learned about their “serviced” (furnished) apartments – a refreshing alternative to the traditional extended stay hotel experience. With a simple phone call to your relocation advisor, you can request a BridgeStreet location and gain access to the nicest corporate temporary housing space I have ever seen. It was obvious from my conversation with Carly that everyone at BridgeStreet are committed to making their guests feel as comfortable as possible. Visit www.bridgestreet.com to learn more.

How to Tell the Kids You Are Moving

When we go through any major life transition, our kids are watching us. In truth, everyone is watching us, but our children are the ones we are most responsible to for modeling healthy – not toxic – responses to life events.

In a previous blog post, I discussed the value of waiting before you announce a move. This way you’ll be able to integrate the reality and process your own emotions before dealing with other people’s responses and opinions.

This may not always be practical or possible when it comes to your kids, but at least take time to create a mindful and positive way for you and your spouse to tell your kids about the impending change.

Here are a few principles to keep in mind when designing your communication plan:

1) Talk about what you are visioning for, not what you are afraid of, e.g., “We look forward to creating a new community, while still staying in touch with our friends and family here.”

2) Allow plenty of time for the kids to process their emotions, which may include fear and sadness. Use open-ended questions, e.g., “What are you feeling about the upcoming move?”

3) Be truthful about your emotions, too. Let them see that fear and doubt are normal, but share that you want to remain in a positive space, e.g., “When any of us are feeling sad, angry or scared, let’s promise to be open and honest about it and talk it over.”

4) Create a family theme that represents how you want to remain throughout the move, e.g., trusting, patient, or connected.

5) Schedule family meetings at least once a week to discuss not only the logistics of the move, but the emotions that are present.

6) Coach your kids on how to share the news with their friends. Offer to help them craft a script to respond to questions, e.g., “Yes, we are moving and though I have some fear, I mostly feel excited about my new house and friends. Let’s plan how we can stay connected.”

No one knows the unique needs or communication style of your family better than you do. Use these examples as a guideline as you set the intention to maintain communication – and be sure to talk about emotions, not just paint colors.

Embrace the CEO Title During Relocation

A traditional leadership coach is someone who helps others sharpen their leadership skills in the corporate or entrepreneurial world. That is not my mission. I help my clients to become the CEOs of their relocations, empowering them to give themselves that promotion during this critical time of transition.

In my experience, most of us have somehow sublimated our CEO title – given our power over to someone or something else. It saddens me when I can clearly hear that a person has been demoted – or put on severance – not by a company, but by themselves.

I most often see people demote themselves during times of major life transitions like a relocation, a health challenge, a job loss or change, a relationship status change, or any other disruptive life events. During times of transition, fear and resistance to the unknown can begin to dominate, and we lose our power.

So how can we avoid losing our CEO title during the many relocations  in our life? How do we trust that there is no candidate better than ourselves to lead us through? How can we remember that we are the single most qualified one to lead our life?

One helpful tool is to create a powerful vision statement that outlines how you intend to run the company of YOU during this relocation. Then you must communicate that clearly to your support system of family, friends and acquaintances, who are in essence a part of your company.

Like a CEO, you respectfully require that your community understand and follow your vision statement so that the company of YOU thrives throughout this transition and you do not lose your job.

Your vision statement and request might sound something like this: “I am in the midst of moving from one area to another, and am very optimistic about the ultimate outcome. I need you to hold this vision with me and remind me when I forget.”

Your ultimate goal is to maintain your leadership role and avoid being forced into a severance package in your own life.  Don't allow yourself to get lost in the move.

How to Talk About Job Loss

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.  In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

~ Viktor E. Frankl

                               

It was 3:00 p.m. on a Wednesday. The garage door opened. The baby was still napping, and the sound startled Jan – so much so that she thought there may be an intruder. The perceived intruder was her husband, who after 10 years as a VP at a fortune 50 company, arrived home with only a pencil cup. This is a true story that happened to one of my clients.  Since that job termination, he has left and rejoined two other companies.

Just last week, another client experienced a similar situation. She was leaving her regular Thursday morning fitness class and there was her husband in the parking lot. Her first thought was that he was there to tell her someone had died. No one had, but after 20 years at the same company, Bob had left with a minimal severance package.

In a way someone had died in both of these stories. Certainly a part of both men – their professional identity.

I have heard many more stories of job losses and how the news is delivered and taken. If you’ve never gone through this before as a spouse or life partner, and even if you have, it can be shocking. Though the experience is not happening to you, the feeling of being out of control can be almost worse than if it had happened to you.

When I have the opportunity to speak with my clients after the “stimulus” (the initial shocking news) and before the response, I can invite them into the “pause” that Viktor Frankl is referencing above.

Remain in the pause before sharing the news.

Often our natural instinct after hearing any kind of bad news is to rush to the ear of the nearest loved one or friend. However, if we open up during this very vulnerable shell-shocked time, we are often going to sink into negativity, anger, sadness and other dark emotions.

It is very empowering to allow the reality of a termination (of any kind, really) to incubate before sharing. This incubation period allows you to integrate the experience and move from a place of fear to trust.

Though you do need to process your emotions, I suggest choosing ONE trusted confidante. The goal is for you speak your deepest fears about the job loss to a wise supporter who will listen, not problem solve, and be 100% there for you.

Be careful when sharing with the kids.

Your children will notice right away that their father is not at work, so keeping silent will likely make it worse. This is an opportunity for you and your spouse to get clear about how to mindfully deliver the job loss news in a way that helps and does not harm. I will have suggestions for this in an upcoming blog post.

Start to envision a positive outcome.

You’ll know you have integrated the news and processed your emotions when you are able to begin to see the gifts of the job loss, and maybe even laugh a little. You might at this point want to begin creating a vision of the ideal position you or your spouse would like to attract and how you want to “be” in the midst of the transition. Being without a job after working 50 hour work weeks for decades can create anxiety and confusion.

When you do chose to share with everyone in your contact sphere, be really clear about what kinds of responses would help you manage through the transition, and what they can do to help you remain positive.

While the family may be collecting severance pay, make sure not to sever the part of you that is positive about what the future holds.

Networking in a New Zipcode

When your spouse or life partner has been relocated by a corporation, and yet you are an entrepreneur or small business owner, it can be challenging to find your new network.  One phenomenal resource for small business owners is BNI.  I've found membership in this business networking organization to be pivotal for my business.

The article below, published in SuccessNet Online™, highlights my experience.

When You Move, Don't Leave Behind BNI

If you are looking for ways to create an instant community in your new zipcode, consider seeking out a BNIchapter near you.

Relocating As An Empty Nester

Moving with children who need to change school systems and leave community groups like soccer, band and dance, can cause major angst in the family.

For example, one of my clients shared that her 8^th grade son spent several months eating his lunch in the bathroom when their family moved from one state to another. He didn’t tell her this until many years later, and as she told it to me I could hear the tears and guilt behind her words – even though this young man is now 30 years old.


When you have no children, or your children are fully grown, out of the home, and not involved in the move, you won’t have to be concerned about whether the kids will make friends in the new school system or be quarterback on the new football team.


However, you’ll have different challenges. Many families create their communities from their children. When attending sports games, band concerts or school events, friendships among parents start as quickly as among children. So without children, it can take longer to create a support system in a new location.


I’ve gathered some advice from empty nesting relocators to make it easier to assimilate into your new location:

1)   Get involved a local charity like a food bank

2)   Start a book club

3)   Enroll in a class at a local college

4)   Learn something new like yoga or biking

5)   Take good care of you by beginning a new self-care program

6)   Nourish your marriage by getting involved in activities you could not do if kids were around

7)   Travel with friends


Relocating as an empty nester, or for those without children, presents its own unique challenges. Take these steps to build a new supportive community where you and your partner can thrive.