Are You Consoling OTHERS - Not Yourself? Don't Lose Yourself in Your Own Move

Often we don’t fully get to express our frustration or sadness around relocating, because we’re consoling those we are leaving - they don’t want to see us go!  One of my clients shared how uncomfortable it was for her to witness the tears of her friends, co-workers and neighbors when she herself was melting down.   Breaking down in the midst of their drama felt just wrong.

Sometimes friends are so caught up with how to manage without us nearby for coffee, a walk or movie out, they forget to consider how we are feeling.  To those left behind, there’s a bit of mystique around going to a new city, buying and decorating a new home….almost as if we are entering into a fairy tale, and like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, just need to click our pretty red shoes twice, and we’re magically transported to the new location.

Are you in the midst of moving and feeling sadness that you’re hesitant to express? As Carl Jung notes, “What you resist, persists.”  Processing your emotions now, helps prevent Post-Traumatic Move Syndrome (PTMS).  I coined this after seeing what happens to my clients when they bury their grief and end up falling apart emotionally after the boxes are unpacked and the family is situated.  I want you to be just as settled inside your emotional self, as your home is on the outside.

Below are some ideas to help you process your emotions:

1)   Journal your feelings and fears about your relocation.  Invest in a beautiful journal that can contain your innermost thoughts.  Or, if you want more privacy, try Penzu.com, a private online diary.

2)   Request the ear of a trusted friend, particularly someone who is familiar with moving or being in transition.  Be specific and share that you’d like some time for it to be “all about you.”  Or join a Virtual Neighborhood, a place to connect with others that have relocated.

3)   Schedule an appointment for the stress relieving modality of your choice – a massage or any other situation that might allow the tears to flow in a safe setting.

4)   Reach out to your spouse or life partner, and voice your innermost feelings around the move.  Make sure to be honest and open about what you need.

5)   Contact me.  I understand what you are going through and would be happy to listen and partner with you.

Trust the process of expressing, it's as important as labeling boxes. We don't want YOU to get lost in the move.