Balancing the CEO Family

Some would say there’s a lot of ego and dysfunction in the corporate world, especially among those at high levels. One of my life passions – the reason I do what I do with executive relocation coaching – is to provide a healthy, confidential and structured space for relocating families to process all of the emotions that arise during the transition.

Holistic Relo helps them slow down amidst the race of finding a new home, new schools, new doctors, etc., so that what matters (connection with family, life balance, self-care) doesn’t get lost in the move and never get found again.

Serial relocations can led to permanent disconnections from what really matters in life; the focus can shift to titles and promotions versus relationships and life balance. It’s all too easy to for an imbalance to occur within the individuals and within a marriage.

For example, the first time I met with Gail, the wife of a CEO, she expressed concern about her son’s opinion of her. She was convinced that he didn’t value her role in the family unit, pretty sure that he thought her husband, his dad, contributed more heavily to the family and perhaps even to the world, then she did. “He doesn’t get me,” she said, “he doesn’t value what I do.” Gail generously gave of her time and heart to many organizations in a volunteer capacity and she imagined her son devalued it all.

It took some time and coaching to uncover that the sad truth was that Gail also didn’t value herself and her role in the family and in the marriage. She viewed her husband’s large paycheck as “his” and not a shared accomplishment.

Part of the relocation coaching process involves taking a look at a couple’s communication style and frequency. When I met with Gail and her husband Jeff, we discovered a real lack of understanding on each side.

What the coaching process allowed Gail to access was how incredibly valuable she was to her husband, her son and the world. What an incredibly strong woman she was. Managing three relocations with two small children, virtually on her own (her husband went on ahead each time to begin the new position), allowed her husband to readily accept these new jobs and succeed at higher and higher levels. While he focused on professional performance, she maintained life balance at home.  A simple reset of the shared contributions to the family really helped.

While it took time to fully accept the promotion, embracing the CEO within herself allowed Gail to equally weigh her role to that of her husband’s. The coaching process and tools, and a willingness to dedicate time to use them, opened their eyes in new ways and rebalanced their family.