Gwen feels invisible. She’s a client of mine (not her real name, of course) – who shared with me that this Halloween is particularly painful. When I asked her what she’d wear to represent her current state of mind, she replied, “A ghost costume.”
Her kids will be trick-or-treating for the last time in their beloved neighborhood of 10 years, and she’s doing her best to make sure this final one is memorable. Preparations for the family’s impending relocation make this a very hectic holiday, but she’s determined to keep all the plates spinning.
Gwen's husband feels right at home in his new company, he's been through a few board meetings now, and is navigating the office complex with ease. His support system is firmly in place.
She trusts that their kids will adjust to their new schools in a short period of time – in fact, they’ve already made a few Facebook friends there.
Gwen, however, hasn’t taken any time to ensure her own smooth assimilation. She’s managing new insurance plans, gathering paperwork for mortgages, pulling together vaccine records for the kid’s schools; in short, her to-do list feels endless.
In our coaching sessions, I encourage Gwen to put herself on the calendar. Together, we identify what she can do right now that will keep her in balance. This includes her unique self-care routine, as well as setting up her own support system in the new location.
It’s incredibly important for the executive spouse to till the soil of her internal landscape, rather than to solely be focusing on the external.
If you’re also spending your last Halloween in your longtime neighborhood before your big move, I hope these suggestions ease your pain and remind you of the importance of your own self-care.
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