Relocating executives commonly want to support and help their spouse during a move. They realize they’ve created this situation, and they want to give her what she needs to thrive and prosper in their new location.
To help you help her, let’s look at this situation through the lens of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Maslow’s theory is that basic needs must be met before one can address needs at a higher level. During a relocation, one’s most basic needs like shelter are feeling threatened.
All too often, once the closing papers are signed, the expectation is that the first level of the pyramid is satisfied. Though the threat is not real (there IS a new home to move into, she is warm enough, and she has food and water), there can be an irrational fear of feeling like nowhere is home. Of feeling displaced.
If not addressed, this fear can impact her ability to move forward and ever feel at home and safe in the new location. Remember that she may not always be aware that these needs are feeling threatened – it’s up to you to be communicative and proactively check in with questions about how she is feeling – not just inquires about tactile moving issues. If you notice that she seems especially depressed, scattered, angry or withdrawn, take time to communicate.
To help alleviate her fears, it’s important to honor and recognize the feeling of not being safe and encourage her to talk through it. Suggest ideas to make the temporary housing or new home feel like “home.”
Once basic needs are met, and only then, your spouse and family can comfortably begin to experience psychological health and achieve assimilation in the new neighborhood. Ultimately, the goal is to be in the new zip code and begin to experience true fulfillment – the pinnacle of Maslow’s model.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. At Holistic Relo I use a similar 5-step process to help families understand the psychological ramifications of relocation.
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