Saying Goodbye to Your Home

Though a home is not a person, very similar feelings can come up when parting from a place you’ve loved for years. Also, when you are leaving one home and not yet officially in the other, you are in a transition space that can feel very unsettling. Our home is one of the things that keep us grounded.

While you will naturally be engaged in the future thinking process of searching for a new home, cultivate the fine art of present moment awareness while you are closing up your old one.

The temptation to multi-task really increases when selling one home and buying another, yet accidents happen more often when attention is divided. It’s not unusual for people in transition to experience falls or accidents. It’s almost as if your feet are in two homes at one time. I always advise my clients to be especially careful during this time of relocation. Try to slow down and not rush. Try to be fully present. Focus on the here and now. Be particularly aware of your surroundings when you are driving.

It’s also valuable to create closure as you leave your home. Lots of grief can be present that gets ignored if you are not able to stop and feel the feelings. One of my clients taught me the value of releasing and blessing a home with a ritual. Before leaving their home of 10 years, Susan and her husband methodically and intentionally walked through each room. They stopped and spoke out loud all of the good memories they experienced in each room.

Another couple once shared a funny story about leaving a home. The husband was living in another state while the kids and wife stayed behind for the kids to finish school. The husband wondered why the house was sitting on the market for so long (this was years ago, when the housing market was good). It turns out that the family was removing the For Sale sign from the lawn as soon as he headed back to his temporary house after each visit.

While this was a funny “conspiracy” that a family committed together, the truth is that if you really do not want to move, or if you haven’t had sufficient closure, you may sabotage the sale of your house by not releasing it emotionally.